Poor Don Larsen

Someone has to call the hyperbole police on Scott Miller because he is not aware that pitchers play in the World Series..

ARLINGTON, Tex. — On a warm and windy night in a football state, Albert Pujols turned sepia-toned. Right before our very eyes, he did. Stepped straight from the baseball diamond and into the ages.

What we saw in Game 3 of this crazy World Series was only the greatest performance, ever, in a World Series game. The final score was beside the point (Cardinals 16, Rangers 7, for the record). This was about one man, history and his place in it.

I’m sorry, I know 1956 might be a bit before your time, but Don Larsen pitched a perfect game in the World Series. No one has ever matched that feat.

That man was not Matt Holliday.

Nor was it Allen Craig, or David Freese, or Elvis Andrus, or… you get the point. This is just a stupid line.

Because on a warm and windy night in a football state (you already told us that), baseball history shuffled its deck. Pujols stepped straight from the World Series into the scrapbooks.

He matched Ruth and Jackson as the only players ever to smash three home runs in one World Series game.

He equaled Paul Molitor as the only player ever to punch out five hits in one World Series game.

He became the only player ever to rack up 14 total bases in a World Series game.

So what you are telling us is that Pujols did something that a handful of players have done before, maybe not all at once, but still. I am not saying that what he did wasn’t remarkable, it was, but he didn’t throw a perfect game and therefore did not turn in the greatest World Series performance of all time.

Angels in the outfield? Try Muhammad Ali in the infield. The Greatest, bar none.

Watch yourself, Scott. Angels in the Outfield is one of the best 90’s Disney sports movies of all time, just like Albert’s performance in Game 3, one of the greatest of all time.

Not fair, Pujols charged. He was in the clubhouse kitchen. Nobody sent word to him that his presence was desired.

Yeah, well, Alexi Ogando, Mike Gonzalez and Darren Oliver tried going into his kitchen Saturday. He deep-fried them to a crisp.

Is that necessary?

Wherever the truth is, and whatever was said, he could not have changed the conversation more dramatically.

He could have pitched a perfect game…

Our kids will be watching old video footage of Pujols’ three-homer World Series game just like we hung on old footage of Reggie Jackson’s.

Our grandkids will listen to the legend of Pujols the way we once devoured the legend of Ruth.

Or how we devoured Don Larsen’s perfect game.

Mr. October, meet Senor Octubre.

You are not going to win over your Hispanic readers if you don’t use the tilde over the N, Scott.

The Babe, meet El Hombre.

Don’t you mean, El Pujols?

Pujols always has done his best talking on the field, anyway. That’s what the Cardinals pay him for, and that’s what suitors wooing him on the free agent market this winter will attempt to pay him for. Sure, the Cardinals like to brag about how good he is in the community, too. But let’s get this straight: They’re not paying him to kiss babies, shake hands and smile pretty. Otherwise, he would have been at his locker chatting the other night.

I thought that was because no one told him his presence was desired… You’re not making sense, Scott.

Best game in World Series history?

No.

“I think the best thing to do is, you make that statement and ask somebody, OK, show me one that was better,” Cardinals manager Tony La Russa said. “I think it would be hard to do.”

Impossible, is more like it.

Don Larsen, is more like it.

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