The same dumb ass argument all over again

Bill Dwyre turns in today’s gem.

If salaries were the only thing that mattered, the New York Yankees would have won their ALDS series with the Tigers.

If salaries were the only thing that mattered, the Red Sox, Angels, White Sox, Cubs, Mets, and Giants would be in the playoffs, but no one is writing some half-assed, idiotic article about that

It turns out that the New York Yankees have a common problem of this economy. Return on investment.

Zing! Way to go, Bill!

The scene: Thursday night, Yankees versus Detroit Tigers. The deciding Game 5 of the American League Division Series, or ALDS for you real fans.

What? What does realizing American League Division Series can be shortened to ALDS make you a real fan? How god damn stupid are you?

The Yankees posted the best record in the American League this season.

More on this later…

Their star shortstop, Derek Jeter, had sent a deep fly to the wall in right field with a runner on base. If it clears the wall, the Yankees lead, 4-3, and their almost untouchable closing pitcher, Mariano Rivera, would likely have come in and been untouchable.

“… and their almost untouchable closing pitcher, Mariano Rivera, would likely have come in and been untouchable.” Sorry, but this was so stupid that it warranted repeating.

Blah blah blah

Still, this should have been a mismatch (Dwyer spent the last 5,000 words talking about A-Rod and Jose Valverde), especially if money is a measure of anything. Valverde, at $7 million annually, was at a $25-million disadvantage. If money spoke, as it does in so many things in our lives, A-Rod would have rattled the seats in left-center field and the Yankees would still be alive.

There are just so many stupid parts of this paragraph. First off, money is not a measure of anything in a single at bat. The money that A-Rod is making represents his perceived worth to the team the year he signed the contract. Maybe the team was stupid or desperate, but salary does not mean a whole lot when you are talking about a single at bat. Also, why should a $25 million salary difference result in a homerun? Why don’t you think before you write, Bill?

One of the other stars for the Tigers was Kelly, the right fielder who had gathered in Jeter’s near-miss at the wall. Kelly hit a solo homer, one of two by the Tigers in the first inning. That’s pretty crucial in a 3-2 victory. A comparison of salaries has Jeter at $14.7 million this season and Kelly at $423,000.

If Jeter just makes a dollar more, or Kelly one dollar less for that matter, the ball goes over the fence, mark my words.

The conclusion is obvious, and it should enhance our appreciation of playoff baseball, rather than diminish it. Money can get you close, but it can’t guarantee you the ring. The Yankees and the Phillies currently pay the most, and it usually shows.

Uh, what gave that away? Maybe having the top records in Major League Baseball this year…

But some of the other teams making nice runs at the title this year are well down the payroll list. The Diamondbacks are 25th, the Brewers 16th, the Rangers 13th and the Tigers 10th.

Bill, a quick lesson for you. Even without bringing standard deviations into this, which I could do, don’t make me, but when you are considering 30 teams, being 16th, 13th, and 10th is not “well down the payroll list.”

Big dollars make sense, but they can’t hit a 90-mph breaking ball with the bases loaded and two out in the bottom of the ninth.

Utter. Nonsense. That didn’t even happen in the Yankee game, so now you’re just pulling scenarios out of your head.

So, as we watch this all unfold, possibly all the way to a World Series seventh game on Oct. 27, let’s enjoy it. Let’s also not be too hard on the Yankees, the big team that couldn’t.

Or the Red Sox, Angels, White Sox, Twins, Cubs, Mets, Giants…

Be positive. Think of them as the best American League Division Series semifinalist money could buy.

Or you could think of them as being the best team in baseball over a 162 game season, but not quite lucky enough to win 3 games in a 5 game series. Take you pick!

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