A letter from Aaron Rodgers to Brett Favre

Our inside man at the post office intercepted this letter from Aaron Rodgers to Brett Favre.

Mr. Brett Lorenzo Favre
400 Pick Six Drive
Hickville, Alabama

Dear Brett,

Hey guy, how are you doing? Thanks for the shout-outs in your recent interview. I know I wasn’t able to say this in front of the media, but I really admire you and wanted to say thank you. Brett, you said in the interview that you hoped I learned something while I was sitting there on the bench, watching you gun-sling your way up and down the field. Well, god damnit, Brett, learn I did.

You know, coming into the league as a rookie, I didn’t know if I was going to make it or not. I was just hoping to ride a veteran’s coat tails for my entire career, but then I watched you play and knew that I could learn so much. I sat there with the headphones on my rookie year and watched you throw 29 interceptions. 29! But what that taught me was that even if I was the worst quarterback in the league that year, and a billion years old, that I should definitely not quit, even if it is the best thing for the team. I was well on my way to becoming a true gun-slinger, just like you, and your daddy before you and your slave owning grand daddy before him. Someone who doesn’t care about interceptions or accuracy. Someone whose main goal in life is to make it to the big show, a Wranglers commercial. (P.S. I watched the commercial again and I noticed that one of your passes was an interception. You know, the one where the guy stretches out his arms and tips it to himself. Don’t worry, I’ll keep it to myself, but I am so proud of you for sticking to your roots, even when the Wrangler creative people said that it might not be a great idea for their marketing!)

Now, I didn’t start my second year in the league, and rightfully so, you were ahead of my on the depth chart. I was still a young, impressionable guy and I still had lots to learn from you. 18 more interceptions! Good for a 1:1 touchdown to interception ratio, but you know what that taught me? Statistics shouldn’t matter. Because even though you had thrown 47 interceptions in the past 2 seasons, to 38 touchdowns, you can still be named the starter on an NFL team the following year.

The saddest year of my life was my 3rd year in the league. I could sense the tides turning against you inGreen Bay, and I thought you might be on your way out. That scared the bejesus out of me, Brett. I didn’t know if I could convert everything I had watched you do into my own production. How could I replace the man who single handedly reinvented the interception? I didn’t think that I could bear the weight. And what did you do? You threw 15 more interceptions, but this time, 28 touchdowns. That made the totals while I was on the bench, 66 touchdowns to 62 interceptions, thank god I didn’t start! I thought to myself, Aaron, you have to go out there and just not worry about throwing it to a Green Bay player, you just have to throw it. Triple coverage, no problem. Quadruple coverage, what would Brett do? He would fire that football in there so hard without thinking twice. Aaron, it’s time for you to put on some big boy Wranglers.

I owe all the success in my first season to you. I threw 28 touchdowns to only 13 interceptions. That is a little low, I know. I just know that if I threw about 10 more interceptions, I could have easily made it to 30 touchdowns, I saw the small windows and shied away, but I vowed to never let that happen again. I’ll admit, I saw single coverage and I threw at it, I saw wide open running backs in the flat and I checked down. I should have been looking down field, for the tougher throws that yielded only slightly better chances of scoring but great chances of being a turnover, because gun slinging is the name of the game.

A lot of people don’t understand what you said about how the team you left was one of the most talented that you were ever part of and that I fell into a good situation. I mean, the defense was rather pedestrian, being ranked 16th in the league in DVOA in your last year, but there was one element that is often overlooked. They don’t realize that YOU were part of that defense! Every time you threw an interception, which was often, you became a defensive stud. You had 7 tackles in your career! Which is like one for every five million interceptions, but still! When the ball was turned over, number 4 looked more like Ray Lewis if you ask me! I’m working on improving my tackling skills so that when I start throwing 29 interceptions in a season, I’ll be there to make the stop.

And Brett, don’t think that I ever stopped watching you just because you left. I will forever be a student of your game. It wasn’t just your on the field performance that I was taking note of, I mean, 22 interceptions is pretty hard to miss, but it was the off the field antics that intrigued me. Your sexual harassment of the training staff there was really impressive. Unfortunately, all the training staff members inGreen Bayare dudes, bummer. And then that poser Ben Roethlisberger decided that he wanted a go. Brett, do you realize that you made it cool to be naked and wear Crocs? You are my god!

The next season I had very mixed feelings. You returned to the NFC North, but to play for the Vikings. But I knew that deep down, you came back so that I could learn more. You played very well that season, especially for a dinosaur. When Greg Jennings asked me, how is the guy from Tales From the Crypt playing so well, I responded, he’s just having fun. You truly were a kid out there, even if you looked like long time Vikings kicker Gary Anderson.

I’m embarrassed to admit this, but in your final season, you know, the one where you were replaced by Joe Webb after you got hurt, Joseph Webb Jr., I actually studied more tape of you than opposing defenses. I think that is what propelled us to the Super Bowl. I didn’t let stupid things like preparation distract me, I was focused on you. And you didn’t disappoint, you threw 19 interceptions to 11 touchdowns! Everyone else was like, he is washed up, he is done, but I knew that you wanted to retire the way you lived… throwing interceptions.

So here I sit, with a career touchdown to interception ratio of almost 3:1, but only one Super Bowl ring. I’ll get there someday :).

You’ll always be #1 on my depth chart.

Forever your understudy,

Aaron Rodgers

 

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